Love in the Time of the Coronavirus: A Tribute to My Children:
We are living through a situation that is completely unique to all of us and I look at my girls and I wonder how they must be feeling right now.
They were sent home from school 17th March and we made the decision not to go beyond our garden from that point. My husband leaves the house to buy food now and again but apart from that we are here for the foreseeable. They are separated from their friends and family and even though we have explained to them what is going on I’m not sure that they can possible understand the magnitude of what is happening in the world at this time.
One thing that I have always said about those girls is that you could literally pick them up and put them anywhere and they will pretty much fall in line. They were born in Doha, Qatar and they had visited the UK only once before we moved home a year and seven months ago. We moved to Farnham, an area that we had never been to before but after a bit of research on the internet we decided that was the place for us. We were lucky, as it turns out that decision was one of the best that we have ever made. We moved to a house next to their school that can only be described a as a beautiful old shit hole. It needs a lot of work but that’s okay as we have time.
The saddest part of this is that when we moved back to the UK my husband was unable to come with us at that time and he stayed on in Doha. We decided that he would visit for a week at a time during holidays until he could move home for good. I look back at that time and I remember how awful I felt for the first few months without him here and having to do everything alone or just me and the girls. And then I remember how they were during this period of our lives and I feel nothing but pride and this deep love that brings tears to my eyes. They were absolute legends. They missed their Father incredible amounts and even though there were a few tears shed they got up and carried on with their lives – in a new country, at a new school, in a new house, away from everything that they knew and loved.
At one point after Lilith kept asking me to organise a playdate for her I actually said, ‘I give up Lil! You’re on your own. I’ve tried speaking to people but I’m not so sure that they want to speak to me! You’ll have to book in your own playdate. Let me know when you’ve got it sorted.’
We are a far cry from those days. We’ve met some awesome people, we’ve formed life long bonds and we have a happy life here. We’ve had a lot of laughs and we have also faced some difficult times. But I couldn’t have done it without those two little girls at my side. The two are my rock, they are the true gems in my life.
The ironic thing is that my husband moved home just before the Covid-19 outbreak. So having spent not very much time with the girls lately he now has all the time in the world with them. It’s pretty amazing how life works out, don’t you think?
I know that the world is a fucked up place right now but I want to try and vocalise this as best as I can: I will never get this kind of time back with my girls. I love being around them. The only good thing to come of all of this is that we get to spend time together as a family. My girls have their Father back. They have a young innocent resilience that you just can’t learn. They are positive and happy girls. It’s just in them… they are the best little people.
We are effectively trapped together trying to work, homeschool and I’m trying to meet deadlines for my Master’s. This is us now for God only knows how long. We have this overwhelming feeling hanging over us of what the world will be like when we emerge from this. A lot of lives will be destroyed by this. This is the new world which they will grow up in. A world where people will have to deal with grief and others will have to rebuild their lives.
I don’t know what will happen but I do know this… I’m grateful. I don’t know how those two got to be the way they are but I am one lucky Mum.
Lilith and AJ – I love you two. As far as I’m concerned you are the best kids in the world. Thank you for being the way you are.
I decided to write this as a reminder to myself because we have only been shut away for a short time and if this carries on then I’m pretty sure that things may get a bit tough. So, this is how I feel right now and if I forget that or lose sight of that then I’ll take some time out and have a read of this.
Stay safe everyone.